My feet hang off the bed, As I look back at the day. Frustrated at being stuck in a cycle; Frustrated, repeating the same cycle. This perfection that I seek, Doesn’t care about what’s for keeps. If I can’t win against myself, Then I can’t win at all. I want to trust I’ll succeed, even when I fall.

It’s futile. I know. And yet, I’m here, yelling in my brain— Get out of your fucking domain, Be better than yesterday. And I’ve battled this demon plaguing me For what feels like eternity. He lets me win now and then, Just to come back screaming: Yes, relapse! Give into this vortex of doubt, of hate. This storm I always feared: A life wasted, A time that has already passed. Because I just want good feelings to always last.

But my chest rises and falls, I’m ashamed I still know nothing at all. I let go of the progress of today, I release the butterflies from their cage— As Dad would always say. And I watch them as they flutter; Life can be peaceful, When you look at it that way. They zag and they zig, Unknowingly inefficient. I smile and wave. Because, yes, this is exactly it; It’s just another day.